The story you've all been waiting for...

Which definition best describes Labor?

a.Physical or mental exertion, especially when difficult or exhausting
b.To strive painstakingly
c.To proceed with great effort
d.To suffer from distress or a disadvantage
e.To distress; burden
f.To undergo the efforts of childbirth
g. All of the above

It would be pathetic if any of you mothers missed this one. Just sayin...

On the other hand, some males might struggle with this quiz, it's not your average class 101 kinda material.

They call me "smart" you know. Not "smart alec"... though that would be my name had I been a boy.

That reminds me of a story. I think it begins with a "Once Upon a Time..."

There was a girl with shiny hair, the shiny-est in all of Meredithdom, a great kingdom that was fast becoming populated with wee little ones. Besides some exiles, who were sent to the Backwoods to be punished, the rest of the inhabitants were multiplying and replenishing. Some folk found Meredithdom odd for their zest and zeal in this act of increasing their posterity, but the townspeople paid those folks no mind for Meredithdom had the wisest delivery man, Robabobbo. Along with him and his father, the wise chief Roo-B-O-Bob, nothing would hinder the laboring of their fine women. They were even so lucky to have in their midst, a Bebee Whisperer. Her skill was unlike any other, and they called her the Gwait White Wilbus of Busathick. Meredithdom would have dwindled if it hadn't been for her skill, along with her apprentices, the Lemmon Cream Gang, though they claim no relation to Jack the Lemmon, who went sour long ago and was sentenced to tie die....which, supposedly is very painful. (*Ting*insert angelic smile here)

Now, if you are feeling a little lost right now, don't worry. This story has many levels of understanding, depending on how familiar you are with Meredithdom and its history.

Now, back to the fair-haired beauty mentioned earlier. She was large with child. In Meredithdom, the larger, the better, for that means the mother with child will have a very good birthing story to tell. One of the greatest highlights in Meredithdom is the gathering in Chief Roo-B-O-Bob's Hut in the circle of story-telling. Great honor is given to those with the greatest skill in spinning a tale. Everyone was anxiously awaiting the journey this beauty would make to bring her child into the world.

This is her journey, told by her, because talking in the third person is getting old:

It began on a boring Friday night. Contractions started while I was watching the newest Karate Kid movie. They were not braxton hicks ones either, and continued for a few hours. I was getting excited, and may or may not have sent out a few texts alerting family that the baby might be on her way. The contractions stopped almost immediately after I went to bed.

Then nothing happened for another week.

It started up again, on a Friday night. We decided that Fridays should be called "Contraction Day". But, once again, they didn't last....until Tuesday. They started in that evening. I went to bed, and they contractions didn't stop. They would last a few hours, at an intensity that it was very difficult to sleep, then wane for an hour, then start back up. I thought for sure I was going to end up in the hospital that night. And Russ was in Idaho Falls. I may or may not have sent out more texts. But, morning came and the contractions died down. I was getting really annoyed and wanted my body to make up her mind! I didn't know what to expect because I was induced with Anna, and with Carter my water broke, but with both pregnancies, I never experienced contractions before I went to the hospital to deliver. Wednesday morning, I stuck to my normal routine of waddling, peeing, and grunting with every move. At 2:30, I left to pick up Anna at her bus stop. It is just around the corner and down the street, so I always walked. About 200 meters from the front door, I thought maybe my bag of waters was leaking. The walk to the bus stop was slow and uncomfortable. A trip to the bathroom confirmed that I had lost my mucus plug, which was also a first for me. The contractions slowly picked up and became more frequent throughoutthe rest of the afternoon. I started timing them. They were coming every 2-4 minutes, and had been for at least an hour. Russ decided it was "Go Time".

Side note: We were sure that once I got into hard labor, and my water broke, the baby would come within minutes, because of how easy the first two babies came. With Carter, I pushed probably 3 times and out he came.

So, when we checked into the hospital around 5:30pm- 6pm, and they got me hooked up with pitocin, we thought it would be just a few hours. I dilated to a four quickly. Got the epidural. Things were moving at a nice pace. I called my sisters Emma and Alisha, and they left Twin Falls to be there for the birth. We were sure they would miss it.

Then we started facing some problems. My cervix wasn't thinning out completely, and it took hours for me to dilate from an 8 to a 9. Then I was stuck there. The epidural numbed the pain in my stomach, but I was feeling the full force of pain and pressure down a bit further, and it felt concentrated in the area where my cervix was. During the hours that it took for me to slowly dilate, they had me switch from laying on one side, to my back, to the other side. Whenever I was on my side, it hurt terribly! I got the "shakes" and had to concentrate very hard to stop. When the babe wasn't here by midnight, I was starting to feel very frustrated. After one in the morning they let me start pushing, even though my cervix still wasn't completely thinned out. It felt AMAZING to finally push! Serious, BEST feeling I had all year! The babe was posterior, or "sunny side up" as they called it, so I found that after multiple pushes, her position made it very difficult to move her. I have never pushed so hard during labor. I pushed so hard, they had to put me on oxygen because I was hyperventilating. I just wanted her out!!! There were many times I wanted to just say, "I am done. I can't do another push. I can't do this any longer." Words just can't explain the feelings.

But, somehow we made it, and towards the end, when I was just about ready to give up, the doctor got her head turned during a contraction and me pushing, and she came right out! It was only 45 minutes of pushing, and many women push for much, much longer, but for me, with the intensity with which I pushed, it felt like forever!

After Kya was born, I got to hold her for a minute, then they took her to the NICU because she had a fever. Turned out I had a fever too. We were never quite sure why Kya had one, but she was just fine 6 hours later and back in the nursery. After I delivered her, it took me quite a long time to get my breathing under control. Then my body shook uncontrollably for a long time too. It was awful. By the time they moved me to my room, I was totally exhausted. I was so swollen from the pushing that I could not even get out of my bed and could barely walk. Each step was very painful. With my first two pregnancies, I was up and about just hours after delivering, so with this third one, it was quite a different experience! I told Russ after Kya was born that I was done having babies. I never wanted to do that ever, ever, ever again!!! But...a few months go by....you forget....yup.....crazy women! 

Tip: If you can, totally use the sitz bath they have in the hospital. I used ice packs for 12 hours, then did the sitz bath for 12 hours and when I left Saturday, my swelling was gone! A miracle...especially when I felt like everything down yonder was 10 times the size it's supposed to be!

Kya stayed in the nursery for 48 hrs, protocol when a baby is born with a fever, so I stayed too. The extra time in the hospital was what I needed anyway, to help with my recovery. So, I was induced Wednesday night, had Kya Thursday morning, and went home Saturday afternoon. To make things even more complicated, Russ had his gall bladder removed Friday after Kya was born! Yeah...

Kya hardly cried while in the hospital, but she did not sleep very well! And she had a bad latch when nursing, so that was a struggle too. After a week of being home, we discovered that she, like Anna and Carter, had GERD...yay...and so we had to deal with that all over again! At least I have experience.

Isn't it some kind of curse to get three kids in a row with GERD? I swear it is! Who cursed us anyways? Rude!

Anyhoo, our little journey with the whole GERD thing is another story. Let's just say Kya is the first of my kids to be on formula, and let me tell you all, it is GREAT!

Well, Meredithdom is blessed with another gorgeous baby girl....the girls are taking over!!! Amber most likely wins the prize for the best-horrible birthing story too....cuz hers has got to be better than Jeigh's labor going so fast she didn't even get an epidural and then tore when Jett was born and felt it clear to her toes. Yeah...Amber's was way worse.  :)  But, we are sure there are many more babies yet to be born and many more birthing stories to tell. Hope you enjoyed!


I so deserve something awesome for managing to finally get this all posted! It's a new year, how about some chocolate to get things started with a bang, eh? HA!