Grant me patience
to deal with my

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

In comparison....

Carter John Meredith at 18 months old.

Anna Belle Meredith at 18 months old.
Can you see the family resemblance? These two may look a lot alike, but I promise you, they are different in more ways than we imagined! Anna was actually quite pleasant and calm...Carter is very active and is our tantrum-man! Anna was actually quite obedient, didn't get into the things we told her not to, when we put her in her bed, she stayed there, and by 18 months, she was already showing signs of potty training. Carter....on the other hand....likes to do everything we tell him NOT to do, and often times smiles or laughs when he gets into trouble, he gets into EVERYTHING he is not supposed to, we check the garbage can regularly...we always find something in there that we DON'T want thrown away, the kid gets out of bed at least 5 times a night, and he has NO CLUE whatsoever about potty stuff! It's like re-learning everything with each child that comes along! At least we can say this much....our lives are always full of surprises! We LOVE Anna and Carter more than words could ever express! What a blessing children are!
(I try to tell myself that each day....during that tantrum, through the crying, struggles, fights, sickness, comes with the territory....and I have to say I have more patience than I EVER imagined, and I realize that you can never learn enough about being a good parent! There is always something to improve! )

Monday, February 16, 2009

TAG! Bla, bla, bla...

I admit, I have no pictures to post, and maybe I don't have much to say, but here we go...

Lately...I have been sleeping in too much...and enjoying it even more! I have figured out that I hate liquid foundation and am much happier with a light dusting of powder and a little blush....and I am done in minutes!

I decided that I don't have to do the dishes three times a day, and am becoming okay with a sink full of em until the end of the day....and sometimes I feel rebellious enough to leave them until the morning!

I eat chocolate and never feel guilty about it...and my kids eat chocolate too...and I still believe I am a good mom for allowing them to enjoy one of life's simple pleasures.

I am realizing that I am the only one who knows how long the kitchen floor has been mopped, the toilet scrubbed, the carpet vacuumed. No matter how much you scrub the carpet to clean up your toddler's seems like the smell never quite goes away.

Patience is something I have to work at EVERY day. When I lose my patience...I feel awful inside. When I was in kindergarten, my teacher helped our class make Thanksgiving books. One question she asked everyone, and then wrote our answers in the books for us was: "What is one wish you have?" My answer was:"I wish my parents wouldn't fight so much." I never want to be that kind of parent. Having patience and not losing my cool with my kids is more important to me than anything.

Family Home Evening, I am discovering, is so important to have each week. When it is my turn to do the lesson, I always feel the confirmation of the Holy Ghost as I am teaching Anna and Carter a principle of the gospel.

Life is never too hopeless to stop praying.

When I feel like my prayers go unanswered, and I feel I have been praying and praying and praying, for days, months, even years for certain things....and just when I am feeling the most frustrated...and I think, "What does it matter anymore?" something small and amazing happens to renew my faith and hope that the Lord is there and He will not forget us or leave our prayers unanswered.

I like to eat chips and salsa for lunch sometimes...and I discovered Anna does too. We enjoy eating our chips and salsa together. We eat too much....but I think years from now we will both cherish our little habit we've recently made together. Sometimes, when Carter won't go down for a nap...and I really want him to because I think I need a break...I let him stay up and I always have the most wonderful time with him...laughing and playing....I tell myself I need to be less selfish and share my time with my kids more often.

My dream job would be to work in a bakery...making all kinds of yummy delights...and decorating the most amazing cakes like you see on Food Network's "Ace of Cakes" show! I always wonder how much better our lives would be if we didn't have television....yet there are moments where my life was saved because of it!

I think that Russ and I need a much much bigger bed. I love to sleep alone....Russ hates sleeping alone! I cannot stand to sleep facing Russ...he breathes hot breath on my face. I am always more cold than I am ever warm...but when you pay your own electric bill, you find that being cold is much more preferable than paying a huge bill.

Russ says I only give him "chicken pecks" for kisses. I admit...I am not very fond of kissing....I think it is a stress, I do too much during the day, clean, cook, clean some more, play, give here, give there, give to Anna, give to Carter, talk and explain and teach, worry about this and that and even what I am not supposed to worry about, then clean and cook and bathe, read this book and another and another, deal with tantrums, toddlers fighting, teach some more, explain some more, give and give and give. By the end of the day, I feel like I cannot give any more, and sometimes I don't. But what I am finding is that even when I do so much in a is never enough to completely drain me that I can't give just a little bit one kiss. So...I am trying to be more fond of's not so bad.

I love home-made fruit smoothies. I love granola cereal. I love sushi.

Someday, I want to have a huge garden.

My children are beautiful...even when they have dirty faces.

When my kids are being difficult, I don't feel so bad about it anymore, because most kids are's not just mine! There are some really awesome moms out there, and each day, I try to be a little more like all of you that I admire so much. Each of us has talents, strengths, advice, and knowledge of different things that we need to share with each other.

I have learned to NEVER say Never!

Sometimes I get teary-eyed during commercials...weird, I know, and I cry now more than I ever used to. It feels good to be emotional...I have always just held everything up inside. I am working on being a better communicator...some days I am awful about communicating things to Russ. It is REALLY hard, sometimes, for me to say how I feel...and I argue with myself in my head for long amounts of time before I get the courage to say what I want to say. But I am getting better. I think Russ wonders at times, what is happening to his wife!!! It's good for him! I feel like I am changing so much, and it makes me feel free.

Russ ALWAYS tells me he loves me...all throughout the day. I wish I could see myself through his eyes. I need to love him more.

I need to say, "Thank you" more often.

Sometimes, saying things that don't really seem like much, ends up with you saying more than you could ever say, when you find that others can relate with you and you find your own life very much connected and intertwined with the lives of every other person out there. This might seem like a bunch of bla, bla, bla-ing....but...I think that in the end, all of your bla-blas make me and my life better.

I TAG all of my blog readers to post a bunch of bla, bla too.

.....................I'm waiting!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Thoughts on the art of Grumpy-ness...

Definition of Grumpy

1.Surly; dissatisfied; grouty.

Related Words
bad-tempered, crabbed, crabby, cross, fussy, grouchy, ill-natured, ill-tempered

I wake up this morning, trying desperately to wipe the sleep from my eyes, knowing that I will never win the fight against my good intentions and my will to follow through. Then I hear a familiar sound, one I have come so accustomed to, it seems as normal and regular as my own starts with a *sniffle, sniffle* then gradually grows into *uuhhh-uhhhh-hm-hm-hm-waaah-ewwww-ahhhhhh-hmmmmm* then *sniffle, sniffle* cough...splutter, splutter....cough.....gag. I roll over to the edge of my bed, open one eye wearily and meet eyes with Anna as she lets out another lovely "WHINE"! I close my eyes hoping it is just a dream but my experiences each morning for the many??...months tell me it is not. *SIGH*

"Hi Anna." I reply with my croaky sore throat. "Why are you up so early?"

She replies is her ever constant whiny voice that accompanies her each morning, "Mooooommmmmeeeee....I wanna watch tartooooooonsssssss!"

I groan and pull myself out of bed as Anna patters down the hall and jumps onto the couch. Seconds later I appear from the hall as Anna quickly reminds me, as she does EVERY morning, "Mommmmeeeee, I sirsseeee....I need a dwink!"

"I know!" I reply as the grumpy-ness settles in like an old friend.

I start rummaging through the kitchen, noticing the crumbs on the table I still need to wipe up and the left-over dinner I forgot to put away....oh well, who really likes left-over pizza the next day anyway?

Then I hear the ever-present whine again, "Mommmmmmmeeeee, I said I need a dwink!! I sirssee!"

Do I have to remind myself how little patience a three-year-old has? In the morning, it is quite hard to remember! I try, with a great amount of control, to calmly explain to Anna to have patience to wait, and to remember to use her manners.

"Pwwweeease tan I have a dwink pwease?"

We decide on a drink, always debating that she must choose a HEALTHY option that does not include Powerade, which has too much sugar and is bad for her teeth. Anna finally opts for orange juice, and I hand it over to her, turn the television to Disney, and grumble myself back down the hall. As I enter my room, the smell of all night bad breath hits me, and I gasp, cover my mouth, and jump back in bed before I change my mind! I take a minute to snuggle up to Russ and try and get warm, because our apartment is always so cold in the mornings, when I hear another sound. *Ahhhh...grumble-de-grumble-grumble* Russ so kindly informs me that Carter is awake. With a lesser amount of control in my voice, I not so calmly reply, "I know!" Why cannot my children sleep in? I curse the rising sun and crawl back out of the warmth of my bed to get Carter.

I open Carter's door, as he eagerly runs out and down the hall, dragging his blanket between his legs. The sight makes me smile....until I smell the trapped-in stench of a poopy diaper wafting from Carter's room! I grab the diaper and wipes and chase the kid down, as he tries to avoid my grip.

"Let's change your bum, kid, you're stinky!" as I lay him on the floor and his wails begin! Kicking and arching his back, rolling from side to side, Carter tries everything to get away! It is torture for him to be confined to one spot for more than a few minutes. After the dust settles, I quickly snap the last snap of Carter's onsie as he is already trying to crawl away. He hops up and runs into the kitchen, jabbering and grunting. Hunger is Carter's strongest motivator, it dictates his every mood and move. I try to put on my brave face, knowing what I have to endure through breakfast-time.

"Mooommmmeeee, I hungweeeee!" comes the whine from the little blond on the couch, as Carter starts his whine while he is pulling on the fridge door handle. Then he makes eye contact with the bowl of Sunday treats we use for Anna when she is good in primary and he tries to make his intentions understood with a series of grunts, uh-uh-s, and other incoherent words.

"No Carter, you can't have any candy. Let's have some breakfast!"

I am answered by a wail as he throws himself down onto the floor, then he throws his head back, hits it on the fridge door, and starts kicking the chair in front of him. I ask him to stop and my futile attempt does nothing in my favor. So, I pick up the angry toddler, and carry him to his room, where we let his sit for a few minutes until he calms down. As I come back down the hall I glimpse Russ still soundly asleep in bed and I holler,

"Russ!!! Get up!"

"I'm a coming" he grumbles. I roll my eyes....whatever! Grumpy has now officially become my first name.

Back into the kitchen, I deal with Anna wanting something not healthy or appropriate for breakfast like Doritos or macaroni and cheese. I give her the options as she sighs and gives in and chooses Cheerios, Corn Flakes, or oatmeal. I get her settled, then head back into Carter's room, where I find a much more happy kid, who seems to all but forgotten about the candy. I take him into the kitchen, sit him in his chair, and get him a bowl of cereal too. I try to keep a bib on him, but it is useless because he never keeps it on. As Carter insists on eating himself, I get more annoyed with each bite as he spills all over his jammies, chair, table, and floor. If it wasn't for two toddlers, I wouldn't have to sweep and mop constantly! To validate that complaint, I step on a soggy Cheerio....ooohhhh....major pet peeve of mine!

Then Carter gets tired of his now soggy cereal and sitting still for longer than he desires and starts climbing around on his chair which almost always results in his almost falling off or tipping something over! As I sit him back down, he starts with another fit, crying and kicking, arching his back over the edge of his chair, and trying to hit the nearest object. In my grumpiest voice ever I tell him to stop or he has to go to his room. Does he stop? Maybe in my dreams....but I have already deduced that this is NOT a dream. Carter returns to his room and that finally prompts Russ to get out of bed. He transfers his body from the bed to the couch, changes the channel from Anna's cartoon that she hasn't watched for the last 30 minutes, and can you guess what happens?

"Myyyy tarrrtooon! I wanna watch dat dadddeeee!"

"Anna, if you are going to whine, then go to your room!" She starts crying, cries out for her blankies, grabs them, then goes running to her room in all her drama!

I explain to Anna that it isn't good to watch television all day long, that she can watch a few cartoons and that's it. She accepts, and starts to play in her room, and I come back into the living room with Carter on my hip to find Russ sprawled on the couch watching something completely dumb on the Sci-Fi channel. Totally annoyed, I huff into the kitchen to clean up after breakfast, while demanding that Russ turn the t.v. down. While cleaning up, Carter follows me around grunting and whining for things I cannot figure out, as I reply, exasperated, "'re driving me crazy!"

Russ replies from the living room, "Man....someone is a little grumpy..."

"Noooo, ya think?" I reply with absolutely no sarcasm in my voice....nope... none!

Then I have to restrain the thought of grabbing the nearest boot, gotta be a heavy one, and throwing it at his head! With that picture in my mind, I actually feel a little happier, and smile to myself. Hmmmm, I love mornings!

*note: reminder to all that this is written for entertainment only, and slight exaggeration is used, though I do admit that I have had many mornings almost exactly like this one...and I do admit to, at times, wanting to throw a heavy boot!