Growing up

What happened??? I was looking at these pictures today and just thinking, "My babies are all grown up!!" It's bittersweet. I want them little and I want them big, I love that they depend so much on me and yet I LOVE it when they discover their own sense of independence. I love the baby jabber and yet I love it when they use words like "otherwise", "ridiculous", "lame" and "sperm whale". 

There is so much to love, hate, fear and be totally stoked for when it comes to babies. Same with when they get older. I LOVE cuddling a swaddled newborn. Love kissing chubby cheeks, baby wearing, the loud gas bubbles or burps that escape right during the most spiritual part of a lesson at church, miniature shoes, the smell of baby lotion, the smiles during sleep and the coos when awake. Babies are awesome! Having babies is awesome! I get so stoked when I go into labor! It is just so stinking exciting and I love it! 

...okay, so maybe I didn't love it so much when I was in labor with Kya, who was posterior....it was actually quite awful and I honestly didn't think I could get her out of me....and I am filled with nightmarish scenarios when I think about what it would've been like WITHOUT an epidural!

Back to babies being awesome....they rock! Seriously.

Engorgement. You don't rock. Sorry. And tar poop, same with you. Also, lack of sleep, RSV, circumsicions, and colic.....none of you are cool. At all. 

And then your babies get older. They feed themselves. Yes! And go pee and poo by themselves. Double yes! And they can make it to the toilet BEFORE the puke goes spewing out of their little cute mouths. 

Parenthood is amazing. It's amazing, and awful at times, chaotic, scary, and everything you expected and yet totally not what you signed up for! I love the conversations I have been able to have that only involve gurgling and wierd facial expressions with my newborns, the ones with my toddlers about everything imaginary where nothing makes sense AT ALL, the ones with kids in school where they tell you that you are always wrong, conversations about religion and being good examples at school, bullying, science, worms, reading, and everything else from A to Z. 

*sigh* 

Kids grow up. My kids are growing up. I love it and I hate it. We still have the teenage years to fear....uh....look forward to, haha, and then we have to let them make their own really important decisions that we would REALLY, REALLY like to make for them but can't. 

It's gonna be great.

And right now, I am just trying to take it all in, the good and bad, the awesome moments when I have just totally absolutely and completely loved being a mom and the times when I just wanted to get in the car and drive away and not come back for a few hours. Whatever day I might have tomorrow and regardless of what my kids do and say, I will forever LOVE my kids, my husband, and feel so grateful for the life I have been given.

....and if all else fails, well, just tickle your nose with a pencil. This tactic has been in the Meredith family for generations. It might not solve all your problems, but you'll feel better afterwards, as long as you don't sneeze while the pencil is still in your nostril. 

*if the pictures posted are still appearing cut off, well, it's super annoying, but if you want to see the whole picture just click on it. Someday I'll figure out a way to remedy the problem...