What-Matters-MostI'm not really one who makes a "list" of things I want to accomplish in a new year. Sure, I make many mental lists, but they are always changing. This year, as people are blogging about it, talking about it, teaching about it....."it" got me thinking about what I wanted to do about it! I mean, sure, we all wish we had a thinner waistline, better hair, that we drank more water and consumed less chocolate, that we could manage exercise early in the mornings, Pilate's in the afternoons, and a little Tae-bo in the evenings. I thought about the many things I had already put down on my mental list....things like: I would like to have another baby someday, run a half-marathon, set time limits to t.v. time, organize the closets, and stock back up on our food storage. All of these things are important to me, but not, I decided, worthy enough to make it on my "list" this year. I wanted to work on those things which "matter most". (A special thanks to "Mormon Messages"...a site that is fast becoming a favorite....sort of like a life-line for me)
President Thomas S. Monson says that what matters most to us usually includes those close to us....FAMILY. He admonishes us to love our family. We should never assume that they know of our love, but rather, we need to let them know.
*Cherish our family members
*Express our love in WORD and DEED
*Send a heartfelt note
*Give a hug
*Say "I love you" more often
*Express your thanks to those around you
"NEVER LET A PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED MORE IMPORTANT THAN A PERSON TO BE LOVED."
Wow. Never has a statement hit me so hard. I thought about all the times I tried to solve a "problem" when the more important matter that should have taken my time and attention was the person behind the problem. For instance, my daughter Anna, who has become very naughty, once again, at bedtime. I can't figure out why! She has been on and off with the bedtime trauma since we put her in a toddler bed before she was 18 months old! We get going on a good streak, and then out of the blue, the troubles begin all over again. It is very frustrating. It sucks up my patience as fast as Carter sucks up pop through a straw! It was a "PROBLEM"! And so Russ and I have been working, quite inefficiently, to solve it! Why have we been so inefficient? Probably because we are still young and need a bit more wisdom....so I am looking to a dear prophet to help us with this one. We are focusing so much attention on the "problem" that we have forgotten about the little one who probably just needs a greater dose of our LOVE.
So...kinda sounds like a resolution...but I am going to try a little harder to respond to the problems that arise in my life with greater LOVE. When my kids are grouchy, disobedient, sassy, whiny, stubborn....I am going to try responding with just some good ol love. I have just a hunch that it's going to work much more efficiently than my previous attempts that I will not disclose to you at this time because of their now seemingly absurdity when compared to an answer like LOVE.
And now a special thanks to a few who definitely "matter most" to me:
For Russ...thank you for showing me how to cherish the ones you love. So many moments you offer me sweet affections of your love....I know beyond any doubt, that you cherish me.
For Anna...I think my little one has been more keenly aware of my many tears I cry over the struggles we face as a family and the ones I face individually. I have noticed her tender acts towards me. The ones I love the most are her random expressions of her love for me when she interrupts her play to come running up to me and gives me a great big HUG! What a blessed little miracle she is in my life!
For Carter...He is always pulling on my hand, and in his unique way of talking, says, "Tum....on.....mooooommmmmy! Pway....choo....chooo.....wif...me......pweeeeeeze?" That's all the kid needs...just some belly-time pushing around trucks, tractors, cars, and trains yelling as he does, "Aaaaallllll abooooooooard!" He fills up my heart.....overflowing.....as he approaches me throughout a day, wraps his little chubby hands around me, and gives me a kiss on the back of my head!
It's all about the LOVE. Little children inherently know...and innocently perform acts of love everyday! I don't want to get so caught up in all the "problems" that I forget to LOVE.
I know there is love in this world, all around me, from
*A text to me which said, "You are sunshine!"
*A comment on my blog, "Amber, I love you."
*Knowing a certain family member who always, weirdly, wants to squeeze me!
*An adorable red-headed niece who always prays for me....and she's only almost three!
*Another beautiful red-headed niece who is not yet a teenager, yet she stands for truth and righteousness.
*A mother-in-law who makes home-made ice cream for me on my birthday. She's a good mom.
*Another "mother" who got me through high school, then off to college, always remembered my birthday, honored me with her presence as I received my own endowment and attended my temple wedding...and I cried as I hugged her because of all she did for me...out of love.
*All of my sisters, who I can laugh with...how amazing they are...to find laughter after all they have been through.
*Nanny and Grandad...the BEST grandparents I could have ever asked for! Nanny and I and our long phone conversations, her prayers and advice, and being the role model, the example of who I wanted to be like someday....Grandad...and words he spoke in behalf of me 14 years ago at a young women's activity inviting the new beehives...and I'll never forget his words, which gave me strength to overcome the struggles of my life, as he compared me to a tree, who stands strong and immovable through the terrible storm. His words gave me faith, because I knew he had faith in me. And don't you ever go off and have another heart attack! What would I do without you singing a silly song, or telling those dumb blond jokes?
*My running friends in high school, encouraging me each step...up "Satan's staircase", from falls to falls, grueling fartlecks, through intervals of lung-busting, muscle-tearing speed work down in Rock Creek Park, miles upon miles on a hot back road...no shade....no water, those years of running blessed my life, even up to this very day.
*A home-made necklace made from a pop lid....no joke...and it's perfect....for me...
*A father-in-law...who just knows what's in your heart...and he doesn't have to say it, you can see it in his eyes....and he reminds me everyday by his life lived and yet to be lived of what should matter most.
There is so much LOVE in this world, and by golly, I'm going to find it in every crevice and crack! And if I feel like I am at wit's end, discouraged, depressed, hurt....whatever....I am going to just forget about everything else, and just LOVE.....someone.
What about you?
"Despite the changes which come into our lives...
may we fill our days, as much as we can, with those things...
which matter most."
