We got a late start for January, but the theme I chose is "Service". Each week we will choose someone, and do an act of service for that person/family.
Of all the qualities I want my kids to develop, service is at the top. To me, it doesn't really matter how talented a person is, though having talents and using/sharing them is so important, but if a person doesn't learn to forget himself and serve others, then I feel like they are missing something truly wonderful in their life.
Often life for kids is all about "me, me, me". Look at me, look what I did, watch me do this, look what I got, this is what I want to do." It is a natural process all little kids go through, and I think it is an important process they NEED to go through. Our little ones need to know that the thiings they do are important and that they are noticed by their parents. When they learn something new, or accomplish a difficult task, the praise they receive gives them confidance and courage to keep learning and trying new things.
But as parents, we need to balance their "It's all about me" mentality with opportunities to think about others. As children grow older, they naturally develop the need to want to please their parents. Children crave approval. And they watch all of us adults and pick up on so much more than we think. They pick up on our attitudes, notice what is important to us by how we react through our facial expressions and body language, use of eye contact, tone of voice...they listen to what we talk about when we are with other adults, on the phone, and what we do during the day and with our free time. Children will come to their own conclusions about what they need to say/do to gain approval by what they observe in daily life.
Some children will grow to think that they have to be a certain way in order for mom and dad to be proud of them. It is up to us, as parents, to make sure we are communicating to our children how we feel about them as individuals in our family, each one special in their own way and unique, offering something to the family that maybe others can't. We need to let them know that it is okay to have different talents, that little brother might be able to do cartwheels and flips so easily, and even though mom and dad get so excited to see him do so well, that it's okay that the big sister struggles with that kind of stuff, because she is so great at reading, writing, and drawing.
I think for kids, that they need a break from always trying to compete for the spotlight, and take many moments to instead focus on others. The more opportunities they are given to help someone else, the easier it becomes for them to not be selfish in that moment when baby sister has the whole family's attention, and the other children find joy and happiness in the successes of others, feeling secure about who they are, knowing they are loved, and understanding that life just isn't "all about me".
Does that all make sense?
Our first act of service, we chose to visit aunt Chelsea. She had the flu the day before and still wasn't feeling well. We put together a basket of goodies to bring to her, uncle Wes, and cousin Suzi. We had a lesson about Love before we went, and talked about how we show love for others and read the scripture where Christ says, "when ye have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me." The scripture talks about visiting the sick, and I explained to the kids that that is what we would be doing. I asked Carter a question and his answer made me laugh!
Me: "So Carter, when someone is sick, like Chelsea, what should we do?" (We had just talked about how we show love for others, hoping he would connect visiting the sick with being an act of love.)
Carter replied with excitement, "We bring em a TREAT!!!"
It was funny. Treats equal love for sure, right???
It was so fun to visit aunt Chels, and the kids were so excited to show her all her goodies! And Suzi, who is not yet 2 yrs old, was SO excited to have visitors! It felt good to be able to do something nice for someone else, to go out of our way, and to do more than what was expected, so we could show love and appreciation for that person. I want my kids to feel the greater joy of giving than receiving, and to teach them that it is important to care for others and think about their needs.
In life, there were times when I didn't have much, but I ALWAYS had the ability to give of myself. Kind words, showing affection, offering help...those things don't cost us a penny...yet those very things become worth more than anything in this world that money could buy. We become more like HIM.
That is our ultimate goal, right? Right!
Next week: we are going to find a way to show love and appreciation for our teachers. What are you doing?
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